Here I am at work (naughty naughty!). It's almost 2am, and for the first time in these 2 weeks I'm struggling to stay awake! One nurse is on a break and the other is reading the paper. It's quiet. Blessed Peace and Quiet!
It's been an interesting week. I've been feeling increasingly edgy and impatient with everyone! I really am thinking that I need a break from all this. My friend Ruth had a 6 month break last year, then went back to work. That's what I need!
I actually yelled at a patient last night! First time ever… Of course, he wouldn't have heard me if I didn't yell, as he was yelling himself, and I was just telling him to calm down. He was yelling about how we were abusing him and thought he was stupid, that we didn't trust him, that he was going to discharge himself, that we'd stolen from him, etc etc, all because we locked his tablets in the drawer. We're supposed to do that, as any wandering dementia patient could pick them up and take them (or visiting children in the daytime) and such was the nature of the tablets that swallowing a handful could be fatal. But he would not be reasoned with. Indeed, he would not be quiet at all! Sigh! Then at 3 am a girl came up to our ward and cried and carried on like a 3 year old, completely unreasonable and childish, keeping all the other ladies in the room (and the men in the next room) awake. She wanted a shower and didn't like that we said no!
Then there's the main night shift nurse who slowly gets under your skin and drives you CRAZY! She will not stop whinging! And her favorite subject is "All the things that day staff don't do". Honestly, she has not one clue how busy day staff are.
Now I can see myself and hear myself. I'm whinging and moaning quite a bit myself. And I'm driving myself mad. I hate this! I hate the way I seem to have lost my patience.
Well, I have 5 and a half hours to work. Then I sleep half the day and go to Pizza Hut for my brother's birthday. Then I have 8 more days off!!! Hopefully I'll be a bit more patient after that.
Take a deep breath, Tam!